Posted 1 year ago
No.
I remember my parents telling stories about how my older brother’s first and favorite word was no. Other parents can probably relate. No is a simple word and it is easy to say, but from birth most experience the word no in a primarily negative context. No resulted in hand smacks, butt slaps, and talking-tos. For the duration of childhood and adolescence no is a powerful and dangerous word. With the exception of the occasional drug proposition, saying no is generally regarded as a negative action. If it is yeses that our parents, teachers, and bosses want, yeses are what we give them - even if they are lies.
Fast-forward to your mid-life crisis and take a look back on where the positively acclaimed yes got you. Yes got you into debt. Yes got you addicted. Yes got you herpes. Yes is why you work 60 hours a week doing your and your colleague’s jobs. Whoever advised you in your favorite business or self-development book to “know when to say no” was wrong.
No should be the default. Parents should encourage their children to say no. Life and business coaches should advise their clients to “know when to say yes, and learn how to say no”.
Saying no makes life more manageable. Saying no preserves your exclusivity and scarcity as a resource. No makes you more valuable. No puts you back in control.
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